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Mayor’s race goes to the dogs


Today is Election Day and a new “darkhorse” candidate for mayor has emerged.

According to campaign sources, this candidate promises to never bite the taxpayers’ hand that feeds her and to always be loyal to her bosses, the taxpayers.

She also promises to not address dissenting opinion, a civil right guaranteed by the First Amendment by the way, with a barrage of profanity and personal threats.


Who is this candidate? You may have seen the signs around Farragut.

It’s Marty for Mayor, a Farragut golden retriever who recently “spoke” with farragutpress and Volunteer TV’s Stacy McCloud at the dog’s West Knox compound.

Marty told McCloud, through Bill Johns, her press secretary, that her goal was “to become mayor of her own town one day, but this year she simply wants to motivate everyone to get out and vote.”

As Marty barked out her interview, her press secretary translated: the turnout for “our past elections, just in our own region, have been between ten and twenty percent” and this campaign is designed to bring awareness to voting and hopefully inspire more people to participate in the election process.

So, the secretary added, if you don’t have a favorite, or if she can sway your vote, she wants you to write her in. … “I tell ya, people should be able to have that First Amendment right. Freedom of speech.”

Marty got this whole idea from her biggest supporters, the neighborhood kids.

“When [the kids] started saying ‘Marty for Mayor’ I got really excited,” Johns said.

In the long run, Marty hopes to teach kids that voting can be fun, the press secretary said, adding that he hoped to throw a little fun into elections across the country through this

campaign.

And, he said, you can forget about dirty politics, Marty promises to keep her campaign clean, as exemplified by a public bath with her supporters.

As for Marty’s platform, she is totally against any kind of “ball tax,” wants to get rid of leash laws, enforce a “no cat zone,” and is an advocate for literacy.

“We have a ‘Read for Canine’ program for the puppies and we support all animal rescue efforts.”

In her free time Marty enjoys relaxing on her small farm, enjoying the simple things in life.

Marty’s just hoping voters will realize, it really is a dog’s world, people just live in it.

Marty really does want your vote, no matter what county or state you live in.

Her press secretary says she already has support coming in from Memphis, Dallas and Atlanta.

If you want to learn more about Marty’s campaign — she has her own blog — you can check it out at www.martyformayor.blogspot.com.

 

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