A woman wrote that she'd been married for 25 years. Her husband had cheated on her more than once and she'd “lost” herself and hardly recognized her home or her person.
She also wrote she knew it was never too late to change her life!
This woman had successfully raised two happy sons and worrying about what her husband did and not focusing on what she was doing could very well have given him (in his cheating mind) a good excuse for the affairs.
She knew focusing on getting her act together, could erase that excuse and down the road, he'd wonder what happened.
When someone is unfaithful it's his/her problem. It’s only OUR problem if we make it ours.
I remember going to my minister when my first husband was caught having an affair (I had three little kids and they came to the session with me because I couldn’t get a babysitter) and he told me that my job was to be the best me I could be, not for my husband but for me.
Back when I was frumpy, suspicious, overweight and keeping a totally cluttered and dirty home, I knew what I needed to do. I knew disorganization affected every aspect of my life; my health, relationships, finances, appearance, recreation, hospitality etc. but I got temporarily stuck in self-pity.
How can you eat a whole elephant?
When I discovered that I could be organized with a simple system, I let go of the vision of a mountain to climb.
In Sidetracked Home Execut-ives: from pigpen to paradise my sister and I wrote, “You can only eat an elephant one bite at a time!”
Not that we were in-to eating elephants, we just initially saw our “problem” as something so much bi-gger than we were. When you break any problem down into little bites you see that you are bigger than the problem and you can do anything in baby bites! Start with the intention to get organized just enough to please you.
The best revenge is having a happy, successful life. My adult children have told me that their father would never be able to come to my home for any family get-together because he’d be too jealous of my success and happiness.
My adult self isn’t into revenge, but there is a part of me that relishes that thought. Maybe it’s the good feeling we get when we know, “What goes around, comes around.”
My prayer for you, if you have a story similar to the woman I wrote about in my story, is that you'll find yourself (if you are lost in clutter and chaos) and realize you can do more than just survive; you can thrive. It's your job to be the best YOU that you can be, first for you and then for those you love. Baby bites.
For more from Pam Young go to www.cluborganized.com. You’ll find many musings, videos of Pam in the kitchen preparing delicious meals, videos on how to get organized, lose weight and get your finances in order, all from a reformed SLOB’s point of view.